Narrative 3

Hello and welcome to my blog, I have lately been working on a narrative called The Legend of Zaf  and I had to buddy up with a student in my class, we had to do 2 stars and a wish by reading each others narratives. Also we used our holidays and exaggerated it to make the narrative.  Before I had to buddy up I first brainstormed my ideas and then I started writing the first paragraph of The Legend of Zaf  and the second paragraph. A few days later I started writing the other paragraphs and finally before I had to buddy up I edited the story. then I had to buddy up and do the two stars and a wish. Here is the narrative and the 2 stars and a wish:

The Legend of Zaf

Hello my name is Jonathan last week I had the most craziest adventure in my life, now I should tell you about the story:  I was playing in my backyard when I saw a little red dot in the sky, and it was growing bigger by the second then I realised it was heading straight for me. I ran for cover as it crashed in the veggie patch, once the smoke had cleared I saw it was a UFO. Just then the cockpit opened and out came a tall, grey alien and it said “mly nanme wis Zaf.” (Translation: my name is Zaf) Then it said “chouldd wu tawake mle tolo arwera 51?” (Translation: could you take me to area 51?)

Two days later, one and a half days on plane and the rest by car, all were travelling from New Zealand to area 51.

Now me and Zaf could see area 51 though it would still be 4 more hours until we would get there but in 10 minutes we would have to confront the guards, “wololololololololo!” yelled Zaf (an alien girl scream). Then the guards heard and came over to question me, “what's your name.” “Jonathan.” “Age.” “9.” “Why are you here.” “To visit a relative.”  With that they left me to get to the next bit of security. “Vat wlas e clohse nlone.” said Zaf (Translation: That was a close one).

“Wlet’s gwet lout wof khere.” said Zaf (Translation: Let's get out of here) then we had to face… Killer robots *beep, boop* “ahhhhhhhhh!” ” lahhhhhhhhhhh!” *zrrrrrrt* “There trying to get into the car.” I said, “Wli dwon’t fewl tolo glood.” (Translation: I don’t feel to good) *blruuuugh* then metal and oil smashed on the road and that was all that was left of the robots, “Nice shot” I said.

Back at area 51, where Commander Joe and Sargent Mark are behind the control panel. “Sir someone just took down the Killer robots.” “Then use the giant robot thingy.” “But commander we haven’t tested it yet.” “I don’t care!”

Back at where I am, I had just ditched the car because it had run out of fuel. Then I said   “Wait a second, what’s that.” I said *crack* *crumble* “I am Megabot and I will destroy you, Zaf and all your kind.” said Megabot “wour e piewce wof meltal.” said Zaf (Translation: you a piece of metal)

*Pew pew pew* “Run!” I said, then Zaf said “wooooooooooooooo!” then grey and green glowing aliens ran toward Zaf and formed a Giant alien monster.

“RAWWWR!” said the giant Alien monster. *Wwwwwr … zrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt* Crash! “Oh no.” I said, the giant Alien monster had slammed into the alien energy containment area, luckily the giant Alien monster was not harmed instead it grabbed the alien energy and sucked up most of its power then it placed it back. Megabot then grabbed a statue revealing it was a giant sword, then Megabot ran towards the giant Alien monster and the giant Alien monster ran towards Megabot. 

Then both of them jumped and the giant Alien monster shot a laser out of its mouth hitting the Megabot and breaking the giant sword, Megabot recovered quickly but said “I shall *zrrt* be *zrrt* bac-.” Crash! Megabot was destroyed. Then I looked over at the alien energy and saw it was about to blow, “Run!” I said again. Then it was just nothing, next thing I knew I was in my bed that had meant Zaf had to have taken me home. Then it struck me, there were so many unanswered questions! But there's one question that is still bothering me… when will Zaf return.

The end…?

  

*Really liked how you used your imagination about the Zaf and area 51

* I like the vocabulary that you used in your story.

Next time you could explain how you knew and spoke Zaf also next time you could write what happened in the two days that you were traveling.